just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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