I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
