This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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