How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
