I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
