Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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