It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
