its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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