i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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