Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
