I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
