we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
