dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
