Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize