Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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