I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
