sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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