Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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