Whod you bang
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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