He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So many bounce houses so little time
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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