There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
