Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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