you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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