Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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