Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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