Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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