More tranny stories later!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
