I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think my fart just growled at me.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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