The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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