okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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