Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize