Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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