Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Do vagina's smell?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
