just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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