Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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