3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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