My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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