You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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