my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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