Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
