Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
