i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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