apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
