And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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