cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
