Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
