She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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