the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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