I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
