He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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