Please, let me fuck your mom
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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