dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
