Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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