You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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