I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
