can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I want to fling myself into the sun
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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