Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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