oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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