Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
