WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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