he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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