just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize