you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
