we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
