She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize