the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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